My husband is absolutely awful at telling me nice things. Awful at it.
I come from a family of 2 sisters and a mom who constantly say nice things. That my outfit is cute, that those shoes rock with that skirt, that my hair kicks *ss today. I've never heard Coach tell his family that he loves them; they just aren't the verbal type. Plus his mom is usually fishing for compliments, which drives him nuts.
So verbalizing how he feels about a person is completely foreign to him. He's pretty good about telling me that he loves me, and I know he thinks nice things about me, it just never occurs to him to SAY them.
I've sat him down and told him how important affirming words are to me numerous times. He just can't execute them.
I don't know what else to do. Telling him that he's handsome or that he looks hot in his running shorts is easy as pie for me (he hates hearing this stuff by the way, I have to be careful not to say stuff like that too often or he acts like I'm mortally wounding him). I struggle with body image, and his inability to say that he is attracted to me gets harder every day. In his mind, he's sleeping with me, so of course he's attracted to me. But I need to hear it. Then again, maybe I need to be secure with myself on my own and not depend on his "approval".
I knew all of this about him before we got married. I guess I thought that if he realized HOW important it was to me, that he would make an effort. His brain just doesn't work like that, unfortunately.
Do you struggle with your partner not giving you what you need sometimes?