Tuesday, April 5, 2011

On Farting

My husband thinks it's absolutely hysterically funny to fart at me, or on me.

Exhibit A:
January 2010, we're engaged and at his parents house for the New Year.  Coach wrestles me to the floor, holds me down, and farts on me, all the while his mom is shrieking in the background "She could still change her mind, she could not marry you, I wouldn't marry someone who held me down and farted on me!"  As hard as I tried to be mad, I just couldn't-I was laughing too hard.  Who does that?  My husband!

So last night, we're watching Netflix and relaxing, and he positions his butt over one of our puppies faces and farts.  Farting humor just doesn't get old. 

There's another benefit to having dogs...the husband farts on them and not on me!

Does your partner do something super gross, somewhat offensive but still funny?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

On Words

My husband is absolutely awful at telling me nice things.  Awful at it. 

I come from a family of 2 sisters and a mom who constantly say nice things.  That my outfit is cute, that those shoes rock with that skirt, that my hair kicks *ss today.  I've never heard Coach tell his family that he loves them; they just aren't the verbal type.  Plus his mom is usually fishing for compliments, which drives him nuts. 

So verbalizing how he feels about a person is completely foreign to him.  He's pretty good about telling me that he loves me, and I know he thinks nice things about me, it just never occurs to him to SAY them. 

I've sat him down and told him how important affirming words are to me numerous times.  He just can't execute them. 

I don't know what else to do.  Telling him that he's handsome or that he looks hot in his running shorts is easy as pie for me (he hates hearing this stuff by the way, I have to be careful not to say stuff like that too often or he acts like I'm mortally wounding him).  I struggle with body image, and his inability to say that he is attracted to me gets harder every day.  In his mind, he's sleeping with me, so of course he's attracted to me.  But I need to hear it.  Then again, maybe I need to be secure with myself on my own and not depend on his "approval".

I knew all of this about him before we got married.  I guess I thought that if he realized HOW important it was to me, that he would make an effort.  His brain just doesn't work like that, unfortunately.

Do you struggle with your partner not giving you what you need sometimes?

Friday, March 11, 2011


I have a tendency to worry over things that really don't need to be worried over.

Yesterday I read an article that it can take up to a year to start ovulating again after being on birth control.  Especially if you've been on BC for an extended period of time.

I've been on BC for 12 years now, and by the time we're ready to have kids, it'll be 15.  I have endometriosis, and the periods I had before BC were dreadful in every possible definition.  My longest streak was a 3 month long period that left me almost anemic, exhausted and wondering how I could ever have a sex life in the future if things went on the way they did.

I quit smoking, changed my diet and exercise habits and have never felt better.  This year, I had the first normal period of my life-a mere 6 days. 

I know that my endometriosis is going to make it that much harder for Coach and I to conceive.  And now the BC looks like it will too.  Here's the quandry though:  Do I wait until I'm 27, 28, and stop taking the BC in the hopes that I'll start ovulating a year later (when I'm ready)?  Or do I wait until we are 100% ready and then just....wait? 

All this, and having kids still freaks me out.  The job I'm in right now is not even remotely conducive to having babies (no paid maternity leave, no maternity coverage on our health insurance, a boss that purposefully hires people without kids, etc), and I want more time with just Coach and I.  I want to weather a few more storms (insurance against the havoc babies can wreck on a relationship!) and sock away some seriously good times (like taking our belated honeymoon!) before we start down the path of parenthood.  But I wonder, in the back of my head, if us taking this time now is going to cause us fertility heartaches in the future. 

I just hope I feel ready some day.  I'm scared I won't.  And I'm scared about ovulating now.  Awesome. 

And we're visiting the grandchild-ravenous in-laws this weekend!

Do you worry about things way off in the future?  Or do you worry about ovulating?  I know I do!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

On Comparisons

Monday I was at one of the nursing homes I market, working with the activities director.  I was leaving, and mentioned to the activities director how much I enjoyed my "me" time when Coach is away at athletic competitions.  The activities assistant chimes in that she wouldn't ever want to spend one single second away from husband, and that she loved it when her ex husband left town. 

I really resent my marriage being compared to her skeezy ex.  To me, the implication is that if you have a good marriage and if you really love your husband, then you wouldn't want to spend any time away from him.

Our own respective "me" times is one of the best things Coach and I do for ourselves and each other.  Besides the fact that I knew going into our marriage that Coach would be out of town lots of weekends, and I like to make the best of things.  I thoroughly enjoy time to myself, time with my sisters and family when Coach is out of town.  And I am always excited to see him and spend Sunday with him when he gets back. 

Argh.   It just really rubbed me the wrong way, to be compared to her yucky ex. 

Have you ever found yourself being compared to an undesirable situation? 

Monday, February 21, 2011

On Birthdays

Coach's birthday is in April.  I really want to do some birthday a**-kicking this year, but so far it isn't working out.

Attempt 1:  Coach is lusting after a table saw.  I thought he liked a compact one at Lowe's for $300, which I was going to buy for him after squirreling away a month's worth of freelancing money.  Then I find out he has only been looking at that one since that's the only one we can reasonably afford any time soon, and that he actually needs the $800.  I can't squirrel enough freelancing money away for that, so there goes that idea.

Attempt 2:  Coach has zero guy friends in the town we live in-they all live in his hometown 2 hours away.  With his travelling schedule for work, the last thing he wants to do on his 1 or 2 weekends off every 3 months is travel.  So I thought it would rock to bring some of his guy friends down to visit him, as a surprise, for his birthday.  But Coach doesn't have a single free weekend in all of April.  Idea 2, struck down.

Oh, and he wants a stupid toilet for his birthday.  A toilet.  Home improvement stuff like that is not a birthday present to me, it's something we buy out of the funds we've set aside for the house.

Current Attempt:  A John Pils print of the new Busch Stadium and Sportsmen's Park, framed for his office.  Also, a nice dinner out at his favorite steak joint.  And maybe a toilet. 

I wanted his birthday to be awesome, but I am foiled at every turn!

Have you ever had a time of it trying to make something special for your partner?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

On Romancing

I read this article on Simple Mom a couple of days ago.

The article was written by Alisa Bowman, who is coming out with a book called "Project Happily Ever After."

Normally I don't dig relationship self help books, because I pick out every sign of disaster in a relationship that they mention and search wildly through Coach's and I's relationship and become convinced that we're doomed.  So I steer clear.

But I loved this article.  The whole premise is to let your partner know that they are adored, and to never take them for granted.  And vice versa of course.  But flowers, chocolates or fancy dinners are not the focus.

The simple things are, the every day things.  Like when Coach gets out of bed early to turn the space heater on for me in our bathroom, so I can have a nice warm shower.  Or when he cooks dinner AND does the dishes because I have lots of freelancing work I have to do.  I try my best to do the same for him.

The little things, the daily things that make a partnership a loving one.  Coach has never been one for big, sweeping romantic gestures....but that's OK, because he knocks it out of the park on a daily basis.  Most of the time at least!

How do you make your partner feel adored?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

On Favorites

Kim posted about her favorite moment regarding her wedding...which got me thinking about mine.

Coach and I saw each other for pictures before the ceremony.  We also had our receiving line right before the ceremony...which was unbelievably amazing.  Right in the middle of the chaos of greeting over 200 guests in a span of 15 minutes and trying to keep it all together, I grabbed my almost-husband and yanked him into the "bridal" room.  You know, one of those rooms with awkward furniture and random mirrors?

It was our only moment alone until we hit the hotel room that night.  We didn't even say much, we just looked at each other and grinned.  He held my face in his hands, looked me in the eyes and told me how beautiful I looked.  We told each other that we loved them, we kissed....and we got married.  And it was awesome. 

That little 30 second piece of time on our crazy wonderful wedding day makes me melt every time I think about it. 

What was your favorite, ethereal, knee-weakening moment?