Coach's family is not demonstrative with affection, and neither is he.
My family, on the other hand, tells each other that they love them when leaving the house and gives lot of hugs. I've also got 2 sisters who tell me I look cute 90% of the time.
It used to bother me that Coach tells me I look beautiful once a year (that's our going rate) and doesn't grab me for a hug/kiss combo when he gets home from work.
(Isn't it amazing how much your family background impacts current relationships?)
I've tried to be much more open minded about how Coach shows me that he loves me instead of expecting him to do so as I'd prefer. And this definitely works.
Like....Coach leaves me the "good" leftovers, since I can't come home for lunch and he can. Or when he got up to go to a super early practice this morning and covered me up with an extra blanket right before he left. Or when he cooks me whatever I want for dinner every year on my "quitting smoking" anniversary.
I've read the love languages book, and I am a words of affirmations person for sure. I've tried and tried to get Coach to understand that I need to hear him say nice things, and it just isn't him. That stuff is really hard for him to do, and I respect that now. I'm starting to see how much more meaningful the things that he does for me are, since they are so him. So instead of putting my energy into how much I wish he'd do the things I want him to do, I've put my energy into seeing the things he does do. And he blows me away every time.
Does your partner show you affection in different ways?