Coach and I could not come from different parenting backgrounds. That's the bad news. The good news is we've finally realized this which cuts down on arguments.
Last night we're going back and forth over what amount we need to counter-offer on a house (we're buying a house!). We had a plan in place of what we would offer at which point of the negotiating process, but Coach had talked to his Dad earlier that day and was leaning more in the direction of what his Dad thought he should do. I was p*ssed that he was deviating from our plan, when he gets a text from his mom that says "Counter at $105,000.
I was so angry because my parents go about things in a totally different way. My parents have seen the houses we're looking at in person, I've kept them up to date on the purchasing process, they know exactly what they're doing. And both of my parents have let both Coach and I know that they trust our judgment, that we're looking at some really great homes that are in good shape, and that we're staying in a comfortable price range. They trust us to do the right thing, and because of that they haven't told us what to do or how to do it. I love that about them. And when someone swoops in and says "do this," I'm offended, because to me that says "I don't trust you, you're wrong so let me tell you the right thing to do."
Coach's parents are pretty much the exact opposite of my parents. They show how much they care by involving themselves in every step of the process, from telling Coach where he should get pre-approved at to coming down to the town where we live to look at houses with us and go through every single property with a fine toothed comb. This screams mistrust and overbearing-ness to me, but to Coach it's just them showing that they care about us and want us to get the best possible home.
We both get that we're coming from 2 entirely different styles of parenting now. We didn't all through the wedding planning process, which made it way harder than it needed to be. But understanding this does make it somewhat easier, though I know I am still frustrated with Coach's parents. I'm sure he's frustrated with mine. Hopefully this will get easier, but I'm not going to lie-if his mom does this when Coach and I have kids, it's going to be like this home buying stuff except 1000x worse.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it I think.
Do you and your spouse come from differing camps of parenting? Has it caused conflict?